John Legend

Tonight (Best You Ever Had) ft. Ludacris

IT EUC GRADUATIONS!

IT EUC GRADUATIONS!

BOOK OF THE MONTH (3)

4 .THE HEART OF SUCCESS: Making it in business without losing in life

Author: Rob Parsons

Rob Parsons was born and bred in Cardiff, England. And from a humble beginning Rob progressed to be a teacher; a lawyer; a marriage counselor, a writer and an international motivational speaker on business and family settings. He has written several notable books, and continues to travel the world and inspire more people to live meaningful lives.

Noting his  passion and commitment to meaningful family lives  through books like: “The Sixty Minute Father”; “The 21^st Century Marriage” and “The 21 Century Parent”, the  British newspaper, “The Mail”, once described him as ”The Man who reinvented Fatherhood”.

Helicopter Overview:

If you would, come with me. Let me take you by the hand, and don’t look back. We are about to eavesdrop on a classic scoop. For a while now, I have observed a sinister scenario of  our retired professor having regular after hour meetings with a rookie in his private dwellings.

 Let’s scout for the prophesy.

A prospective MBA student joins a university and, by chance meets an old “Janitor” in a university library and confides in him. He is the last one to leave the library at 10pm. He tells the janitor that his father died the year before, and that he was coming to the university to pursue a career in business to satisfy his late father’s great ambition and to make him proud.

He tells the janitor that his dad was successful in almost everything that he did. That he was the CEO of a company that he built from nothing into a multi-million pound empire of fifteen thousand employees and twelve board members. That he created markets that others thought impossible.

Notwithstanding all the accolades of his father, however, the young man has one serious and genuine concern. Although as a child he had all the best toys in the world that other kids could only dream of, his dad was never there to play with; While there were five hundred people at his father’s sixtieth birthday, there were only fifty people at his funeral; While his father had enumerable staff members, he had no real friends; while his father was a magnate, he died relatively young.

Little did Jack know that the old man he found friendly and understanding was not really a janitor but a retired Professor of business whose profile was very impressive as a former business consultant who assisted many a big companies to get out of the mud. And that this particular evening, professor Tom Murray was standing by for his long term friend Clarke Lewis, the actual janitor at the university library.

When he realized that he was in a privileged company, Jack opened up and told  the professor that he was not sure that he wanted the success that his father had especially at the price his father paid. That he had been browsing the library titles trying to ferret out an answer to one question: “What does it mean to be successful-Can you make it and still have a life?”

And that was a golden opportunity for the retired proffer to empty the pot of gold. He invited Jack to visit him at his cottage for a series of free lectures on principles of success. These lectures took place in the evenings by the fire place over a cup of coffee.

That was one opportune meeting that changed Jack’s life for ever.

Tenets:

1.  Law Number 1- Don’t Settle for Being Money Rich-Time Poor. Don’t tell me how long you work .tell me what you have done. We need business leaders who will demonstrate that successful people have lives outside the office; that really bright people are those who manage to make their success liberate them, not imprison them in some kind of oak paneled cell. A higher standard of living should not suggest a poorer quality of life. What are we doing to ourselves ? if the brightest and best amongst us have no time for anything or anyone but themselves and their work and if the price of success has to be total immersion in that work.” Charles Handy do your part in creating a work culture that honours achievement rather than long hours. Establish a “Life Board”, three people you respect who will give counsel and direction.

2.  Law Number 2-  Believe that the job that you do makes a Difference: Believe in the value of what you do. Every job has worth and therefore you should do it as well as you possibly can. You may be the best accountant in the Western world but unless your clients believe you are, then it’s a secret between you and your diary. He was poor and yet he was never in debt; he had few possessions and yet he was the most content man I have ever met. Dignity. You can’t buy that. You can’t guarantee it by education, or social status. He believed that if he lost his integrity, he lost his greatest asset – his character.

Small things are indeed small, but faithfulness in small things is a great thing (Mother Theresa) never compromise on matters of principle, nor standards of excellence, even on minor issues. Spend less time managing and more time leading by example. Bring out the best in others, delegate authority and responsibility, but stay in touch. Have confidence in yourself and those around you; trust others. Accept blame for failures and credit others with success. Possess integrity and personal courage. If a woman or man of integrity loses their success they still have their character, but the only thing that makes a charlatan worth knowing is his success; he had better not lose it. Character often needs courage. It will mean you own up when you’ve got it wrong, rather than shift the blame to a  colleague. When you live so that your character matters more to you than success, you discover that people trust you… in the long run trust pays dividends. Sometimes special gifts are found in unusual places. Generally people do not leave jobs, they leave supervisors.

3.  Law Number 3- Play to your strength - Find your Factor X: The fastest way to succeed is to find what you are good at and find somebody to let you do it. The key to the heart of success for both individuals and companies is to discover their X Factor. The X Factor is that ability in a man or a woman that is a natural strength-it sets them apart from the pack. So often when companies discover a glimmer of Factor x in a member of staff they first try to control it, then regulate it, and eventually extinguish it (because that is not policy and that is not her job description.  I not only saved Sarah from generations of kids, I saved generation of kids from Sarah. Great teams are made up of brilliant individuals who are allowed to play to their strengths. Great captains and great managers have the same skill: they create team spirit while allowing individual brilliance to shine. by giving them more opportunity to use those strengths. Develop yourself-appoint your staff according to your weaknesses. People are our greatest strength. Competitors can copy our technology but they cannot copy our people. And people allowed to play to their strengths are an awesome force. What do you consider to be my main skill or talent? Can you think of steps I could take to use that gift more effectively

4.  Law Number 4- Believe in the Power of Dreams: The problem with most people in business is that they have stopped dreaming. But dreams change things – companies, individuals and even societies.  Every dreamer needs a dream catcher. It takes fifteen years to become an over-night success. Those who say it can’t be done shouldn’t get in the way of those who are doing it. Don’t just dream-plant a seed. If you want to see a vision grow, there are three conditions:  first you have to have a seed, then you actually need to plant it, and, third, it helps if you remember to water it occasionally. You cant save time-you can only spend it. The truth is that everybody wants more time but everybody has all the time there is. Some of us are able to see but have no visions. Helen Keller. Dreams are contagious. Dream-Catcher=Someone who will bring you down to earth when you are in a “pink flamingo mode”, somebody wiser than you, but above all somebody who believes in you and in your dream

5.  Law Number 5- Put your Family Before Career: To often those of us heavily involved in the business world are in danger of losing out on our most important asset-our family Sir Tom Farmer). Life is busy and for some reason those who matter most to us are often the first to be squeezed out.

6.  Law Number 6- Keep the Common Touch: If you want to get on in life, it’s not what you know but who you know. If you want to be successful pay attention to those who others call nobodies. When you have the common touch, you will have an inherent authority that comes in part only from your  job title. People who are themselves are always impressive. Having the common touch means you are open to finding talent in unexpected places. The common touch involves not taking ourselves too serious, and making a habit of treating people with dignity, whatever their status in the company. We should never forget how vital the goodwill of the foot soldiers is to the success of any company. Those who are used to power and spend their lives at the top of organizations, forget easily how people on the lowest rungs of the ladder can make or break the greatest of their plans. He had the ability to treat people of all backgrounds and positions in a company with dignity. It was often the people who were perceived as being at the bottom of the hierarchy who had the best view of what was going wrong  with a company. Many  companies fail …lack of communication on the part of directors sideways among themselves, and downwards and upwards from their staff. It is a myth that someone labeled “a worker” does not understand what managing a company entails.. When you lose the common touch, you lose touch completely. “I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among the men the greatest asset I possess and the best way to achieve that is by appreciation and encouragement”. Charles Schwab

7.  Law Number 7- Don’t Settle for Success: Make a Difference-Strive for Significance: We have lots of knowledge today, but we seem so very short of wisdom. It’s not enough in life to know what you know, you have to know what you believe. Only that will help you fix a course that will see you safely through to the very heart of success. People think that when you have it all, you really do have it all. But you don’t. the problem is that when we are young the rules are clear: to get to the top; to accumulate sufficient possessions so that people will look and say. “That’s a successful person”. But when we are older it begins to dawn on us that the rules have changed. “The pursuit of significance is achieved individual by individual as we resolve that whatever our definition of success, it must be larger than a new Jag or the office overlooking the lake. Giving part of our lives to bringing hope to others brings a sense of perspective. I want to leave this world a little  better than how I found it. What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, yet lose his own soul. “It is true that if we do not learn from history we may have to relive it, but if we do not change the future we may have to endure it-and that could be worse”. Toffler. The future is very, very short Jeanne Calm

Quotable Quotes:

1.     Never compromise on matters of principle nor standards of excellence, even on miner issues

2.    Time poverty is tragic because while we strive for success, it simultaneously attacks those we care about most

3.    The living are the dead on holiday

4.    (Some) people have a very high standard of living , but an appalling quality of life

5.    Really bright people are those who manage to make their success liberate them, not imprison them in some oak paneled cell.

6.    Small things are indeed small, but faithfulness in small things is a great thing

7.    If a man of integrity loses their success they still have their character, but the only thing that makes a charlatan worth knowing is his success, he had better not lose it.

8.    Great captains and great managers have the same skill: they create team spirit while allowing individual brilliance to shine

9.    Every man, woman and child begins each new day with a bag filled with 1,440 minutes

10.  Too often those of us heavily involved in the business world are in danger of losing out on our most important asset-our family

11.  Who could warn me that the door of childhood shuts so quickly and so finally

12.  Those who are used to power, and spend their lives at the top of the organizations, forget  how easily how people on the lowest rungs of the ladder can make or break the greatest of their plans

13.  I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among men the greatest asset I possess and the best way to achieve that is by appreciation and encouragement

14.  We have lots of knowledge today, but we seem so very short of wisdom. It’s not enough to know what you know, you have to know what you believe

15.  The problem is that when we are young, the rules are so clear…but when we are older, it begins to dawn on us that the rules have changed.

16.  What we have now is a handful of seeds-unless we plant them, they’ll never grow

17.  . “It is not the hours that you put in that counts but what you put into the hours”

18.  Do your part in creating a work culture that honours achievement rather than long hours

19.  If we are going to make a difference as fathers, we need to do it now. The decision is practical...; and it has to do with carving those times out of busy lives - today.”

20. “Over the past twenty four hours we have listened to gifted men and women and been motivated to make a difference in our companies and our personal lives. But what we have now is a handful of seeds-unless we plant them, they’ll never grow.” 

Verdict:

Many a well meaning men have made wonders in pursuing their personal expeditions; explorations as well as business dreams. Some have conquered the moon; some have dived into the deepest oceans; some have climbed the highest mountains and yet some have travelled the world as the sleekest political orators, only to wake up one morning and discover that they have mysteriously been overtaken by time and have missed out on the most valuable asset they ever had-Family. Meaningful family time with all its vicissitudes.

This author is making an indefensible and credible point that most highly ambitious men have mostly tended to compromise the emotional and psychological wellbeing of their loved ones in pursuit of their innate dreams. His contention is that, you do not need to lose your most precious asset in order to achieve worldly material goods. That worldly possessions by themselves do not constitute personal fulfillment, as most of us come to realize later in the afternoon of our lives.