4 .THE HEART OF SUCCESS: Making
it in business without losing in life
Author: Rob Parsons
Rob Parsons was born and bred in
Cardiff, England. And from a humble beginning Rob progressed to be a teacher; a
lawyer; a marriage counselor, a writer and an international motivational
speaker on business and family settings. He has written several notable books,
and continues to travel the world and inspire more people to live meaningful
lives.
Noting his passion and commitment to meaningful family
lives through books like: “The Sixty Minute Father”; “The 21st Century Marriage”
and “The 21 Century Parent”,
the British newspaper, “The Mail”, once
described him as ”The Man who reinvented Fatherhood”.
Helicopter Overview:
If you would, come with me. Let
me take you by the hand, and don’t look back. We are about to eavesdrop on a
classic scoop. For a while now, I have observed a sinister scenario of our retired professor having regular after
hour meetings with a rookie in his private dwellings.
Let’s scout for the prophesy.
A prospective MBA student joins a
university and, by chance meets an old “Janitor” in a university library and
confides in him. He is the last one to leave the library at 10pm. He tells the
janitor that his father died the year before, and that he was coming to the
university to pursue a career in business to satisfy his late father’s great
ambition and to make him proud.
He tells the janitor that his dad
was successful in almost everything that he did. That he was the CEO of a
company that he built from nothing into a multi-million pound empire of fifteen
thousand employees and twelve board members. That he created markets that
others thought impossible.
Notwithstanding all the accolades
of his father, however, the young man has one serious and genuine concern.
Although as a child he had all the best toys in the world that other kids could
only dream of, his dad was never there to play with; While there were five
hundred people at his father’s sixtieth birthday, there were only fifty people at
his funeral; While his father had enumerable staff members, he had no real
friends; while his father was a magnate, he died relatively young.
Little did Jack know that the old
man he found friendly and understanding was not really a janitor but a retired Professor
of business whose profile was very impressive as a former business consultant
who assisted many a big companies to get out of the mud. And that this
particular evening, professor Tom Murray was standing by for his long term
friend Clarke Lewis, the actual janitor at the university library.
When he realized that he was in a
privileged company, Jack opened up and told
the professor that he was not sure that he wanted the success that his
father had especially at the price his father paid. That he had been browsing
the library titles trying to ferret out an answer to one question: “What does it mean to be
successful-Can you make it and still have a life?”
And that was a golden opportunity
for the retired proffer to empty the pot of gold. He invited Jack to visit him
at his cottage for a series of free lectures on principles of success. These
lectures took place in the evenings by the fire place over a cup of coffee.
That was one opportune meeting
that changed Jack’s life for ever.
Tenets:
1. Law
Number 1- Don’t Settle for Being Money Rich-Time Poor. Don’t tell me how long you work .tell me
what you have done. We need business leaders who will demonstrate that
successful people have lives outside the office; that really bright people are
those who manage to make their success liberate them, not imprison them in some
kind of oak paneled cell. A higher standard of living should not suggest a
poorer quality of life. What are we doing to ourselves ? if the brightest and
best amongst us have no time for anything or anyone but themselves and their
work and if the price of success has to be total immersion in that work.”
Charles Handy do your part in creating a work culture that honours achievement
rather than long hours. Establish a “Life
Board”, three people you respect who will give counsel and direction.
2. Law
Number 2- Believe that the job that you
do makes a Difference: Believe
in the value of what you do. Every job has worth and therefore you should do it
as well as you possibly can. You may be the best accountant in the Western
world but unless your clients believe you are, then it’s a secret between you
and your diary. He was poor and yet he was never in debt; he had few
possessions and yet he was the most content man I have ever met. Dignity. You
can’t buy that. You can’t guarantee it by education, or social status. He
believed that if he lost his integrity, he lost his greatest asset – his
character.
Small things are indeed small, but
faithfulness in small things is a great thing (Mother Theresa) never compromise
on matters of principle, nor standards of excellence, even on minor issues.
Spend less time managing and more time leading by example. Bring out the best
in others, delegate authority and responsibility, but stay in touch. Have
confidence in yourself and those around you; trust others. Accept blame for
failures and credit others with success. Possess integrity and personal
courage. If a woman or man of integrity loses their success they still have
their character, but the only thing that makes a charlatan worth knowing is his
success; he had better not lose it. Character often needs courage. It will mean
you own up when you’ve got it wrong, rather than shift the blame to a colleague. When you live so that your character
matters more to you than success, you discover that people trust you… in the
long run trust pays dividends. Sometimes special gifts are found in unusual
places. Generally people do not leave jobs, they leave supervisors.
3. Law
Number 3- Play to your strength - Find your Factor X: The fastest way to succeed is to find what
you are good at and find somebody to let you do it. The key to the heart of
success for both individuals and companies is to discover their X Factor. The X
Factor is that ability in a man or a woman that is a natural strength-it sets
them apart from the pack. So often when companies discover a glimmer of Factor
x in a member of staff they first try to control it, then regulate it, and
eventually extinguish it (because that is not policy and that is not her job
description. I not only saved Sarah from
generations of kids, I saved generation of kids from Sarah. Great teams are
made up of brilliant individuals who are allowed to play to their strengths.
Great captains and great managers have the same skill: they create team spirit
while allowing individual brilliance to shine. by giving them more opportunity
to use those strengths. Develop yourself-appoint your staff according to your
weaknesses. People are our greatest strength. Competitors can copy our
technology but they cannot copy our people. And people allowed to play to their
strengths are an awesome force. What do you consider to be my main skill or
talent? Can you think of steps I could take to use that gift more effectively
4. Law
Number 4- Believe in the Power of Dreams: The
problem with most people in business is that they have stopped dreaming. But
dreams change things – companies, individuals and even societies. Every dreamer needs a dream catcher. It takes
fifteen years to become an over-night success. Those who say it can’t be done
shouldn’t get in the way of those who are doing it. Don’t just dream-plant a
seed. If you want to see a vision grow, there are three conditions: first you have to have a seed, then you
actually need to plant it, and, third, it helps if you remember to water it
occasionally. You cant save time-you can only spend it. The truth is that
everybody wants more time but everybody has all the time there is. Some of us
are able to see but have no visions. Helen Keller. Dreams are contagious. Dream-Catcher=Someone
who will bring you down to earth when you are in a “pink flamingo mode”,
somebody wiser than you, but above all somebody who believes in you and in your
dream
5. Law
Number 5- Put your Family Before Career: To
often those of us heavily involved in the business world are in danger of
losing out on our most important asset-our family Sir Tom Farmer). Life is busy
and for some reason those who matter most to us are often the first to be
squeezed out.
6. Law
Number 6- Keep the Common Touch: If you want to get on in
life, it’s not what you know but who you know. If you want to be successful pay
attention to those who others call nobodies. When you have the common touch,
you will have an inherent authority that comes in part only from your job title. People who are themselves are
always impressive. Having the common touch means you are open to finding talent
in unexpected places. The common touch involves not taking ourselves too
serious, and making a habit of treating people with dignity, whatever their
status in the company. We should never forget how vital the goodwill of the
foot soldiers is to the success of any company. Those who are used to power and
spend their lives at the top of organizations, forget easily how people on the
lowest rungs of the ladder can make or break the greatest of their plans. He
had the ability to treat people of all backgrounds and positions in a company
with dignity. It was often the people who were perceived as being at the bottom
of the hierarchy who had the best view of what was going wrong with a company. Many companies fail …lack of communication on the
part of directors sideways among themselves, and downwards and upwards from
their staff. It is a myth that someone labeled “a worker” does not understand
what managing a company entails.. When you lose the common touch, you lose
touch completely. “I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among the men the
greatest asset I possess and the best way to achieve that is by appreciation and
encouragement”. Charles Schwab
7. Law
Number 7- Don’t Settle for Success: Make a Difference-Strive for Significance: We have lots of knowledge today, but we seem
so very short of wisdom. It’s not enough in life to know what you know, you
have to know what you believe. Only that will help you fix a course that will
see you safely through to the very heart of success. People think that when you
have it all, you really do have it all. But you don’t. the problem is that when
we are young the rules are clear: to get to the top; to accumulate sufficient
possessions so that people will look and say. “That’s a successful person”. But
when we are older it begins to dawn on us that the rules have changed. “The
pursuit of significance is achieved individual by individual as we resolve that
whatever our definition of success, it must be larger than a new Jag or the
office overlooking the lake. Giving part of our lives to bringing hope to
others brings a sense of perspective. I want to leave this world a little better than how I found it. What does it
profit a man to gain the whole world, yet lose his own soul. “It is true that
if we do not learn from history we may have to relive it, but if we do not
change the future we may have to endure it-and that could be worse”. Toffler.
The future is very, very short Jeanne Calm
Quotable Quotes:
1.
Never
compromise on matters of principle nor standards of excellence, even on miner
issues
2.
Time
poverty is tragic because while we strive for success, it simultaneously
attacks those we care about most
3.
The
living are the dead on holiday
4.
(Some)
people have a very high standard of living , but an appalling quality of life
5.
Really
bright people are those who manage to make their success liberate them, not
imprison them in some oak paneled cell.
6.
Small
things are indeed small, but faithfulness in small things is a great thing
7.
If a
man of integrity loses their success they still have their character, but the
only thing that makes a charlatan worth knowing is his success, he had better
not lose it.
8.
Great
captains and great managers have the same skill: they create team spirit while
allowing individual brilliance to shine
9.
Every
man, woman and child begins each new day with a bag filled with 1,440 minutes
10. Too often those of us heavily involved in
the business world are in danger of losing out on our most important asset-our
family
11. Who could warn me that the door of
childhood shuts so quickly and so finally
12. Those who are used to power, and spend
their lives at the top of the organizations, forget how easily how people on the lowest rungs of
the ladder can make or break the greatest of their plans
13. I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm
among men the greatest asset I possess and the best way to achieve that is by
appreciation and encouragement
14. We have lots of knowledge today, but we
seem so very short of wisdom. It’s not enough to know what you know, you have
to know what you believe
15. The problem is that when we are young, the
rules are so clear…but when we are older, it begins to dawn on us that the rules
have changed.
16. What we have now is a handful of
seeds-unless we plant them, they’ll never grow
17. . “It is not the hours that you put in that
counts but what you put into the hours”
18. Do your part in creating a work culture
that honours achievement rather than long hours
19. If we are going to make a difference as
fathers, we need to do it now. The decision is practical...; and it has to do
with carving those times out of busy lives - today.”
20. “Over the past twenty four hours we have
listened to gifted men and women and been motivated to make a difference in our
companies and our personal lives. But what we have now is a handful of
seeds-unless we plant them, they’ll never grow.”
Verdict:
Many a well meaning men have made wonders
in pursuing their personal expeditions; explorations as well as business
dreams. Some have conquered the moon; some have dived into the deepest oceans;
some have climbed the highest mountains and yet some have travelled the world
as the sleekest political orators, only to wake up one morning and discover
that they have mysteriously been overtaken by time and have missed out on the
most valuable asset they ever had-Family. Meaningful family time with all its
vicissitudes.
This author is making an indefensible and
credible point that most highly ambitious men have mostly tended to compromise
the emotional and psychological wellbeing of their loved ones in pursuit of
their innate dreams. His contention is that, you do not need to lose your most
precious asset in order to achieve worldly material goods. That worldly
possessions by themselves do not constitute personal fulfillment, as most of us
come to realize later in the afternoon of our lives.
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